Now and for the future
by Kaede-Rukawa-ice-prince
Summary: Ch3 & 4 rewritten! During the trip, he had this feeling. He still had it after the end of the journey. Sanzo could no longer hide his feelings for Hakkai, and when he confess's, Gojyo's not happy, and a fight breaks out. Five years after the journey, lots
1. Jealousy seeps in

Disclaimer – You know the drill, Saiyuki does not belong to me, it belongs to the great Mr M.

Pairings – SanzoxxHakkai

Warning – Shonen-ai(Yaoi), and perhaps bad language too, and maybe a little violence

Chapter 1 – Jealousy seeps in

Sanzo

I watch, though I am sure that he doesn't know that. I watch as that red haired kappa, that red haired jerk placed a tanned elbow on his shoulder, speaking to him. I watch as he smiles back, with that curve on his lips that is always there.

"Ne, Sanzo, what do you think of Gojyo's idea" comes his voice from my right. I snap out of my dark thoughts"Hm" I ask grumpily, irritated at being asked, since I didn't give a damn what the idiot thought. "You know, about stopping off at Sona Town to refill our supplies instead of going non-stop all the way to Nanya."

"What do you think"

"Me? Why not"

"Then go." I reply, a little too shortly for my liking. I was just pissed off that he accepted the kappa's idea, who was probably thinking of refilling his supplies of sake and ciggerates.

"Great! 'cause I'm hungry again" Goku's golden eyes light up for a momment with childish happiness, which gave me a reason to siphon off a bit of my anger, by creating a small mountain on his head with my harisen(fan). "Itai! Sanzo" comes his stupid whine. "URUSAI"

Sona Town's best inn, the Flipping Dolphin...

"Gomenasai" said the nervous owner, but we really only have one room left" She grabbed a silver platter close to her chest by means of a pathetic sheild when she caught the mad gleam in my eyes.

At that momment, as if an answer to her silent prayers to God, a man, dressed in charcoal grey tuxedo walked up, tossed a brown bag which clinked when it hit the rose wood table, and said"Room 27 signing out." He than walked off.

The owner's eyes lit up. "I know! Why don't two of you go to each room and I'll put an extra futon there. What would you like for dinner's room service" "I want fried chicken" shouted Goku.

"Urese" I wacked him hard on the head for the thirty-seventh time that day. The owner backed down, threw us two sets of keys, than full out ran off. "Maa, maa, Sanzo." said Hakkai, patting me on the shoulder. That is the only bad thing about him, he interferes with my actions too much. No, I take that back, everything about him is perfect.

Suddenly, there was a bright spark in my brain. This was the perfect chance for me to confess my feelings for him... "I'm taking a room with Hakkai, I don't want people ranting about their hunger all day into my ears, and I don't want women suddenly appearing in the middle of the night on order, slobbering into my mouth."

And despite the furious protest of the two for having to put up with the other, this was how it was arranged.

So how d'ya like it? Next chap, you better expect lots of colourful stuff.

(Punch)

Angry Sanzo: You didn't have to tell the whole world I liked Hakkai!

Me: And what are you gonna do?

Sanzo: muter mutter MAKAI TENJO!

Me: AHHHHHHH MY POWER CONTROL DEVICE!

Hakkai: Gomen, Crystal-sa.

(lots of fighting)

Me: Hakkai, get off me

(Big flash of light)

Hakkai: Some one better put tape on her control device, putting back those earrings were hard, and I think I got internal injuries thanks to her punching and chi balls, she copied my technique.


	2. Blondie's funeral

Disclaimer-As much as I love Saiyuki (and Hakkai in particular) I don't own it

Warning-check Chap 1

Pairings-Ditto

Chapter Two-Blondie's funeral

Gojyo

I sit cross-legged on my futon as the stupid descendant-of-monkey brunette grabs the food that the kind waitress had thoughtfully dumped on the doorstep for me. I don't care, I'm too angry anyway. Too angry to eat. What the heck… that darn Sanzo, I'm sure he and Hakkai are having a hell of a time right now.

Wait, what am I thinking? It's not like Sanzo is gay, anymore than Hakkai is…… Argh! Now I'm back in square one, there's no competition for Hakkai cause he already is one… he'll never accept me……

But I still can't rest at ease, so I decided to sneak a peek at their room. With some luck, Hakkai's shirt will be a bit off today like two days ago, and it will show his smooth, fair skin that I drool over…

I walked tip-toed to the magenta colored door. From the inside, I hear speaking noises, a shout, a bellowed oath, and the sound of the harisen making contact with a skeleton. Why that Sanzo, how DARE he hit my Hakkai…

Curiosity takes over, and slowly, I push open the door. I see Hakkai holding the feared fan, panting slightly, cheeks flushed, he looks so cute… and this time SANZO was the one with the bump, he was apologizing, and than I hear him say, "But I meant every word I said, and although I know that you would never feel the same about me-" What? Sanzo was gay! I almost cried out. Now there was competition.

But what makes me want to really shout was what happened next. Hakkai leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the lips. What? How I hoped that I was in Sanzo's position, even if I was the crankiest person around.

Sanzo had a faint smile on his lips, muttered a "Thanks." before Hakkai silenced him with yet another kiss. I was filled with immense rage. I wanted to kill that blondie. How DARE he still Hakkai from me. Tomorrow, tomorrow would be Blondie's funeral. I started by creeping to the place where I knew he kept his liquor.

I pulled of the cap, slugged the orange drink down, wiped away the stains and threw the bottle away. The same thing I would do to the priest's head tomorrow.

* * *

So, how was that? pls review everyone! And I worship u, Hakkai's Lady!

Hakkai: Crystal-sa, pls erase the part about me-

(censored)

Hakkai: Ouch

Gojyo: Crystal, you better shut up!

Goku: I'm hungry

Sanzo: Am I the only sane person here?


	3. Acceptance

Disclaimer-If I own Saiyuki, Hakkai will jump out of the television screen and do a striptease... ok, I wanna own Saiyuki, but for now, I don't

Ditto all past stuff

Chapter Three- Acceptance

Hakkai

I knew it would happen, I just knew it. Some day, this was going to happen. Some day, I would have to finally face up to the fact that though I had once loved Kanan, I would someday have to face the fact that by some cruel twist of fate, I have fallen in love with Sanzo.

So now, perhaps, would be the time to tell him. I opened my mouth to speak, but as they say, "Heaven makes a sport of us poor mortals." It began to rain. Lightning flashed, followed shortly by the crash of thunder. And the droplets of rain fell.

All the memories, the damned memories of the day I killed the thousand demons, and the day Kanan died, all came back. The same heartbreak, unlessened even over the many years, came back. The part of me that felt like it was just too noisy, so noisy, that it was too much, felt that I was about to lose my mind, came back.

Why couldn't they just keep quiet? Couldn't a person cry in peace? Just mourn the loss of the only thing that ever mattered in peace. The scar on my stomach ached again, throbbing painfully like my heart when Kanan slipped the dagger off its sheath and killed herself.

A tear slid down my cheek, and as though the rain wasn't enough, there came something else, a name. "Hakkai!" Who was Hakkai? I am not Hakkai, I am Gonou. Gonou! Can't you hear me? Stop calling me. Stop, stop!

I could hear, as vividly as ever, the cries, the screams and curses of the thousand youkais I slaughtered in my mad frenzy. "HAKKAI!" the name was bellowed out. I slowly forced my eyes open. Ah yes, I was called Hakkai. But who called me? Sanzo?

And slowly, the full view comes in sight. I look up at the concerned face. Perhaps I should just learn to let go, and accept the future. The future that is Sanzo.

* * *

A/N:

Sorry if this is crap. I wanted to totally change the Ch3. It sucked. Ch4 rewritten shall come soon.


End file.
